At 17 years old, I found myself sitting alone in a bathroom stall, waiting for the results of a pregnancy test.

One minute I was worried about my school work and football games, and the next, I was worried about what I would do if the test was positive. I was sure that if I was pregnant I wouldn’t want to continue the pregnancy, but I didn’t know where or how to get an abortion, or how I would pay for it.

During the first week of the year, Mesha Caldwell, a Black trans woman, was found shot to death in Mississippi. Three days later, two-spirit woman Jamie Lee Wounded Arrow was murdered in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. And Sean Hake, a transgender man living in Pennsylvania, was killed by police responding to a domestic violence call – the third reported trans person murdered in 2017.

As the clock struck midnight, “Auld Lang Syne” rang out, and 2017 was ushered in, many of us breathed a sigh of relief to have 2016 behind us. But before we could make it into the new year, conservatives let us know they have no plans to leave their oppressive policies behind.

The church has always been a huge part of my life. Before I joined the junior choir, I would sit in the choir stand with my mom, not even tall enough for my little head to be above the pew. I would sing along to the classic Gospel songs that I knew by heart. I always made a point to remember the scripture of the week for our youth pastor and to know all the books of the Bible for our Bible study teacher.

If you were to ask my mom or my girlfriend about a time I got something wrong, they’d both most likely say, “Well, according to Quita, she never gets anything wrong.” But even the Princess of Perfection has to admit when she is wrong. My self-care journey is an ongoing process that I’m getting wrong more times than not.